Pursuing Conversations III
Conversations are what we do as human beings—we talk, we listen, and we exchange words with one another. Some of us tend to talk more, while others tend to listen more, but if you have any doubt that conversations virtually define our human experience, listen to these statistics.
The average person says between 13,000 and 20,000 words per day. Men speak approximately 4.68 million words per year and 375 billion words in a lifetime. And women speak approximately a trillion words in a lifetime. That’s a lot of talking!
Despite the difference of a few hundred billion words between men and women spoken throughout life, the reality remains—we all know how to talk.
But…just because we are good at talking doesn’t mean we are good at conversation.
It’d be a mistake to think that because we’re inundated with words, that we will automatically excel in dialogue.
Just as someone who has excessive contact with water doesn’t (as a result) become an Olympic swimmer, so it is with conversations. Becoming a skilled swimmer is determined by what someone actually does while they are in the water. It’s how they practice, how they strengthen their muscles, and how they treat their bodies.
Michael Phelps didn’t become the greatest swimmer in history by taking warm baths all the time. In fact, in his pursuit of winning an unprecedented eight gold medals in the 2008 Olympics, Phelps spent extraordinary amounts of time not only in the water, but diligently developing his swimming skills. In the 7 years leading up to the Olympics, he spent only 5 days out of the water! In addition, he ate between 10,000 and 12,000 calories per day to gain the energy he needed. Oh how I wish I could eat that many calories and have a physique like his. Phelps didn’t accomplish something that no one else has ever done by simply having contact with water.
This same principle applies to how we use our words in conversations. We can’t simply be in contact with words and expect to become Olympic level conversationalists. This will only become a reality when we .
That’s essentially what conversational mavens do.
Conversational mavens are experts of dialogue who understand the power of words and are able to create, sustain, and catalyze substantial and meaningful conversations that affect people’s lives, even after the conversation is over.
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