This morning at VibeWire’s FastBreak the following questions were asked, What’s stopping us? What stops us from doing the things we want/have to do?

The Fast Speakers gave some great and intimate insights into their worlds and the hurdles that are stopping them:

• Being Overlooked.
• Depression.
• The Inner Voice (IV) & the voices of others.
• The day-to-day. Starting a business is like “climbing up a hill wearing roller-skates“.
• Lack of clarity, awareness & appreciation/ thankfulness: “yet there are happier people in refugee camps?”

Maybe you resonate with these obstacles. Are these the things dragging you down or hindering you?

Personally, what is stopping me is actually myself. Sounds crazy to blame myself, doesn’t it?
But, why do we always assume the role of ‘victim’ in our circumstance. And when I ask myself what is stopping me, its me?

I, like Annie, want to live a life that “values moral integrity, sustainable practices, collaboration, empathy, and understanding”, yet, if I am truly honest with myself, what holds me back from seeking out such a life is my own  selfishness,  individualism and narcissism.

selfishness | Who isn’t consumed with self? We find it hard to share especially our success! How often to you catch yourself not wanting to share any of the glory of projects, achievements, ideas with anyone but yourself? How often do you think if only there were more people like me, and did things the way I do and to the standards I produce? I do, and unfortunately too often!

individualism | We live in an incredibly individualized culture. We are very used to living in networks of terminally casual relationships, whereby deep, intimate and long-lasting connections becomes just some nostalgic gesture of the yester-years.  The right to live our lives our own way and the belief that within and of ourselves we have everything in we need as individuals to do what we want to do and become, is delusion. Autonomy and self-sufficiency, although ever present in each of us, is a lie. We need each other. We need community and partnerships to succeed and prosper (physically, socially, vocationally and spiritually).

narcissism | Social media itself is testament that we all have ‘egos’ to preserve. Motivation for our tweets, status updates, comments, or posts is to promote the self and paint ourselves in a better light than perhaps what is the truth and reality. How often do you read about people promoting ‘others’ interests and standing up for the voices that are struggling to be heard?

In short, it is my own S.I.N that holds me back.

So, what is the remedy to being held back by these things?

top 3 tips to get you going

1. Don’t think of yourself more highly than you ought.
2. Appreciate others. Don’t overlook them. Serve them. Seek their good.
3. Look up to others, who look out for others. (Check this out)

Surprisingly (or perhaps not, perhaps this is the way we are actually wired to operate?), other-person-centredness benefits the self in the long run. It brings awareness, clarity and thankfulness. It equips us with a gracious objectivity, flexibility, empathy and understanding.

Looking outside of ourselves to the needs of others brings greater motivation to get on with life & its projects.